Mommy Lessons Learned Too Late #41

As a mother I have had the joys, the drama, the ups, downs, highs and lows... And I would not change one thing about it! My most recent Mommy Lesson learned a litte too late... When my daughter was born I was determined that I would do things my way and that no matter who said what I would stand firm and stand tall and stand proud of my decisions on raising my child... That was before I had my son, before I was TRUELY sleep deprived and before I was a part time working mom. My husband and I agreed on breastfeeding was best for our children,vaccnations were neccessary, and co-sleeping was NOT an option! We found a 3 bedroom house and each child has their own space, with a bed and their own personal touches. We have now realize we have no space of our own, every inch of our house is THEIR space and buying 3 seperate beds in 3 seperate rooms was a waste because all of their stuff winds up in whatever room we are in and our nightly rituals include removing a child from our bed ten times a night... So I have learned that had we splurged on a king size bed and and saved on the extra space we would probably all be less sleep deprived!!! Oh the joys of motherhood... And I love every minute!

Just trying it out...

Well from the time I was young I was always fascinated with writing.  I imagined one day I would live the "glamorous" life of a famous published author, or  an English teacher who was well traveled and had a knowledge of the world and a taste for the finer things in life. Little did I know at the age of 8 that the world as I knew it was not the real world at all. At an early age I always knew life hadn't dealt me the best hand but as far as I was concerned I was happy and well adjusted. My childhood was unstable and quite difficult looking back as an adult; however as children we aren't aware that our daily lives aren't the same as other kids. I was 12 when I realized that there were HUGE flaws in my home life. Other kids my age weren't raised by drug addicts and thrown from one grandparent to another. Other kids in my now rural school had no understanding of what it would be like to be uprooted from the life you knew to jump on a midnight flight and fly halfway across the country to be told everything and everyone you once knew are not a part of your life anymore. I was 7 when we hopped a plane from suburban California to rural VERY rural Arkansas! Can we talk about culture shock? I went from being a city kid living an unstable life with a couple of young parents still wrapped up in partying and not parenting to a child of a single mom living with my grandparents on 65 acres 8 miles from town on a DIRT road!! My new best friends were 4 legged... Luckily for me I was again taking this as an adventure. So I began keeping a journal. I would cry everyday at school and they would send me for in school therapy to help ease my transition but no amount of talking can help like reading the words your wrote when you were 7 and scared and realizing that it all turned out alright! And is actually exactly where you want to be. I am not a world famous author although I have been published in a few poem coffee table books in middle school and once in high school. I decided never to share my little publishing's with anyone because I felt like I knew I accomplished a piece of my dream and that was enough glory for me. I am not a well traveled English teacher who gets to share her travels with the students so eager to learn each day, but I am a mother and I teach my children everyday how to love and be loved. They are taught that they are safe and secure with their parents who love them and would never have to worry about the feelings and emotions that I was dealt as a child. I may seem to others as young bride joined in matrimony in a shot gun wedding, but my life is so much more than that! I am blessed and happy and sharing my stories with the world even if I am not a world famous author featured in a million bookstores. This is my way to say whether anyone else thinks so or not... I've made it and I will only continue to make it.
So never give up on your dreams sometimes we just don't realize our dreams are coming true all around us everyday. Learn to Love what you have not what you want.
Love, Lady A.